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Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
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Adeline!, 12021995I felt that night, on the stage, incredibly close to everything in the universe, but also extremely alone. I wondered, for the first time in my life, if life was worth all the work it took to live. What exactly made it worth it? What’s so horrible about being dead forever, and not feeling anything, and not even dreaming? What’s so great about feeling and dreaming? — Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close Tagboard
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3e'10Carissa Jermaine Sheree Talia Venessa Venetia Archives
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June 21, 2010
wtf. my tablet like spoil-.- no sound eh. how how ppl help. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz i guess its time for repair and reboot. zz June 3, 2010
HAAHAA OKAY IM BORED NOW, SO I'VE DECIDED TO THANK KOHLUNGKUANG FOR HIS SHIRT/KEYCHAIN... ER still got what? DURIAN SWEET WHICH I DIDNT EAT?! LOL er. no more. HAHAHA. okay THANK YOU for being so late. :D but still, IS THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS. so i appreciate!(: and thanks so much for bluffing me that you bought 2 N.U.M sandals la... make me happy for like, how many days?! but i was like half suspecting also. so nvm expected. you cant be that good. HAHA. okay thanks thanks. great time sitting with you for term 2. and i think we talked a lot LOL AND LAUGHED A LOT. so.. term 3 gonna change seat!!! sad or not! nvm, its time for us to pay attention in class! YEP. and not to forget all the OIs we did to sheree. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH. and imagining... ______ being a street ah lian. oi-ing at ppl who stare at her! O: AHAH shit damn funny. OKAY. THANKS FOR BEING SUCH A GOOD FRIEND AH. (: and also thanks CLYDE for talking to me lately, when i am so bored. when i am in need of help!:D thank youuuuuu. AHAH AND I FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE STARBUCKS. dont rot during the holidays! i know you are almost done with all your work. even though is only 3 JUNE. ._. HAHA bestest!(: June 2, 2010
OKAY HI WUSS UP. hahah. okay training today.. nearly died. yea thats all i can say for the first part. hmmm.. i was like panicking like mad when i was still at dover at 750am. COS I MISSED MY BUS. AND I CANNOT BE LATE!!! roar. so i called almost everyone. LOL. i called jia hui/jiale. THEN THEY JUST WOKE UP. wow. and jia le dont need go trng! so jiahui was like so late. THEN jinghui was like somewhere near school. and jocelyn reached! SO I WAS LIKE oh man. so i kept asking jocelyn if that bear coach reached! then until like what, ACS(I)?! SHE TOLD ME HE REACHED OMFG. i totally shock like mad. sososo, i ran up like mad. ZZZ. late by like 3 min+++. HEH but lucky nth happened. then we went downstairs after stretching. and cos it was raining, we were like damn hell happy!!! COS DONT NEED RUN 2.4 HAHAHA. but we went down bb court and run 10 rounds. it wasnt that bad until the chionging part. seriously i hate chionging in retarded circles, esp when you cant see the ends, and it feels never ending. and you know need change directions?! zz so chiong like mad. and i was with jinghui in front. BUT UNTIL LIKE LAST FEW TIMES. i really really cant take it, so i slacked until the last. with sharmin LOL. AND I DUNNO WHY, wh also want say me?! I MEAN at least i still run right. not like nvr run. just ppl overtake me, or rather, i slowly lagged behind, but i still run right? aiya whatever. so chiong like mad, did some weird thing, then wheel barrow? dunno how spell. AND AT FIRST I TOT I CANT DOOOO. cos that time when yg asked us to do the width of bb court, we all nearly died and cheat like mad!!! but now, omg i can do the length!!!! SRSLY i dunno how. miracle(: hehe then do do do. gathered and talked about jerseys. ah same old brand. kind of... sian. and we decided! 2 jerseys? black and red? i dunno eh. but i know got black. mmm went up, and did spike and save... eh some basic stuffs. then formation. omg damn funny. laughed like crazy!!! LOL. but when we gathered, wh was like telling us he is trying to see who is the most suitable person to play that position etc. mm. cos end of year, only 10/12 ppl going korea!!! so ya.. sad. then after that.. omg service. YAY. HAHA learnt jump serve. i dunno why, suddenly i like training service. mm then dismissed. did a bit of proposal, and then off to anchorpoint to eat subwayyyyyy. :D before that, went to talk/see charis and carissa. yupp. then go off. saw lyanne too AHHA. ate, and then we were like still hungry!!! so we went to buy kfc LOL. damn joke. went back school, and i saw charis, carissa, sheree, lyanne, deborah. ALL IN THE FOYER. COOL OR NOT. hahahah. all gathered there!! hehe went the.. carpark there and do work, since the foyer was like damn noisy. so did a bit of work.. ya and physics KILLED ME. thanks jocelyn for your GREAT HELP. srsly i asked her all the questions LOL. IM SORRY. im stupid. damn. then went home!!! went to buy my itouch cover(: GREEN. lime green. I LOVE IT damn nice. it looks so sleeeeek now, (: After today's training, i started to wonder what will happen if i got sub by some other ppl, for my position. so means im not in the team, and i probably will not go overseas with them, and i will not play with the same team mates for my last time. what will happen? Will i be disappointed? Will they do better without me? ah all these questions are like stuck in my head.. and they will never be answered until that REALLY happens. today's training has made me reflect a lot a lot. i have to work harder to sustain my position. i have to improve on my physical. but i need time, is not a day or two. all these take time. but i'm really lacking of time. if i concentrate much on this, how about my studies, my life? i still need my life, and my academics. my life doesnt JUST revolves around volley. soooooooooo. i really dunno what to do. THANKS KOHLUNGKUANG FOR HIS 4MONTHS LATE BIRTHDAY PRESENT! May 28, 2010
OKAY YAY I DAMN HAPPY. I FINISHED EMATHS. OMGGGG. YAY. okay, need do some chi? or amaths la. or physics. whatever. LOL. KK BYE HAHAHA May 26, 2010
OKAY SO SORRY, previously i gave the wrong url for my tumblr. my tumblr is... bombthe-apples.tumblr.com. without the www. yep! hmmm. so today got back ourrrrr report books. ): no good at all man. srsly. sian ttm!!! alright. it was atrocious. and i am so determined to study like mad during the june holidays, i dunno how am i supposed to do it when i got 4 days of training per week. damn.. zzz. anyway, haha the raising of class fund was alright today. IT WAS HILARIOUS AT FIRST OMG. ahahha firstly, i overcooked the hotdogs, AND SOME OF THEM SPLITTED LOL. DAMN FUNNY. SRSLY HAHAHAHA. LOLOL. then... venessa and i rushed down the canteen. with our hotdogs. BUT WE MISSED OUT SOMETHING.. THE MONEY!!! LOL srsly. it was so omg at first. like everything gone wrong yknow. but it was srsly damn funny. and when shawn bit off his first bite. you can hear the plastic-ky sound LOL. BUT IS NICE OK. :D then a bit hard to sell, cos the food was quite costly. but anyway. still not that bad. ahhaha OKAY ANYWAY, this morning got the what, one seven thingy. talk to ms tan one. ah ya. quite scary at first, but.. still ok. like not as bad as i thought. lessons were boring... like wow. second last day, and is like so damn boring. finally chi watch movie!! AHAHA. DAMN FUNNY AH THE MOVIE LOL. heeeeeeeeeeh. anyway, i am still very depressedf with my results. sigh. looks like i really need to stop procrastinating, stop complaining, and start doing my work and start studying like a nerd. yesh yesh. thats my plan. erm. okay trng was alright? i was like picking the balls when i reached-.- until quite a while. DO WEIGHTS. argh irritating. but after that trained with balls.. played game then dismissed. kind of mis the session when we talked to the coach after training. srsly missed it. when we sat in a circle, and yg talk to us nicely.. oh man. ): sigh. anyway, gtg.. before my dark rings are even more obvious. BYE May 22, 2010
OKAY SO THE SIKKIM TRIP IS ON MY TUMBLR. go and read if you want. hahaha. i lazy post it here! (: anyway, left less than a week of school, YAY!!!! hahaha finally. but during that one month of holidays... i've got a lot to do... study.. and trng. and concert, picnic, and the ecp thingy. and out with grace. O: haha, today gave back all of the results... not very bad. but still. SIGH. disappointing.. eng-b4 chi-a2 amaths-a1 emaths-a1 bio-a1 chem-b4 physics-b3 geog-b3 eh i think is like that. LOL. i dunno. YES. 4 Bs. thats quite bad-.- so im like so determined to study like mad during the june hols. probably do a lot of maths questions, do chi tys, study my sciences, buck up my chem and physics, maintain my bio, memorize my geog. almost everything. and when sch reopen that week, we are going to have O's oral!!! omfg. damn hell fast, i cant take it!!! zzzzzz. school has been very tiring these few days... have been sleeping at 12am, waking up at 530. and that day i woke up at like 615. -.- NEARLY late. gay. i was like rushing out of the house. i am so tired.. but i still managed to wake up early today, and went school quite early. BUT, in the end the bus broke down at broadway. clap clap man... so had to walk to school from there. with lyanne as well. hahaha. so walk, supposed to meet mr lum at 7. but i started walking at 7! and i reached sch at 710. LOL. so he briefed me about the proposal thing.. and i was kind of shocked. cos 4 of us have to plan the.. family thing. and is a big proj. quite scary. and the 2 guys dont seem to like. care abt it. jocelyn dont really know how. i got a rough idea. but i cant possibly do the whole thing right... and is RUSH. oh man. so next week got compo test. how great. spoiler of the week. zzz. but i think when term 3 starts, we will be grateful for it. haha. SOOOOOO. I AM SO TIRED NOW. TRNG TMR AT 1. hais. When it was me by Paul DeAnda Ooh, no Yeah, yeah She's got green eyes and she's 5'5" Long brown hair all down her back Cadilliac truck So the hell what What's so special about that She used to model, she's done some acting So she weighs buck of 5 So I guess she's alright if perfection is what you like Ooh, ooh, and I'm not jealous, no I'm not Ooh, ooh, I just want everything she's got Ooh, ooh, you look at her so amazed I remember way back when you used to look at me that way Tell me what makes her so much better than me (so much better than me) What makes her just everything that I can never be What makes her your every dream and fantasy Because I can't remember when it was me And now you don't feel the same I remember you would shiver everytime I said your name You said nothing felt as good as when you gaze into my eyes Now you don't care I'm alive How did we let the fire die Ooh, ooh, and I'm not jealous, no I'm not Ooh, ooh, I just want everything she's got [ When It Was Me lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ] Ooh, ooh, you look at her so amazed I remember way back when you used to look at me that way What makes her so much better than me (so much better than me) What makes her just everything that I can never be What makes her your every dream and fantasy Because I can't remember when it was me That made you smile That made you laugh Even if it makes you happier than you have ever been, oh me That was your world (me) Your kind of girl Nothing about me has changed That's why I'm here wondering What makes her so much better than me (what makes her so much better than me) What makes her just everything that I can never be What makes her your every dream and fantasy Because I can't remember when it was me What makes her so much better than me (what makes her so much better than me) What makes her just everything that I can never be What makes her your every dream and fantasy Because I can't remember when it was me When it was me When it was me When it was me great song. ahha kind of cool, and true. like i mean, have you ever feel that way before? probably a yes right... so oh ya, trng today was fine. LOL so long nvr run! i totally KO-ed. and i was like so damn high during the trng, so long didnt feel that way alr. so actually, the real soul within me haven't disappeared yet, only when the ppl around me find it, i will then be myself again. somehow, somewhat, i cant find it in the class. May 12, 2010
I MISS SIKKIMMMMMMM): I MISS THE KIDSSSSSSSSS. I MISS THE FUNNNNNNN. I MISS BEING PEACEFUL. I MISS THE WEATHER. I MISS THE SCENERY. i miss almost every single small thing i did there. be it the freezing bath we took, the daidi game we played while waiting for weili to bathe finish, the bus we took everyday, the devotions we had every morning, the countless practices we had before the closing ceremony, the games we played with the kids, the most mad and untidy room i ever seen, the TAUPOKING GAME WHICH I DIDNT TOOK PART and yet i missed it soo much more than anyone would. i really regretted not taking care of my body, letting my body system ran wild and not able to have fun with the rest of them! ): well, on the brighter side, at least i got to witness them.. sighhhhhhhhhh. i miss how i forget about every thing that happened in singapore, every miserable and sadness events, and the homework stress i had. i let go of everything in sikkim, but unfortunately it was temporary and i have to retrieve all of them back now. all at a go. HOMEWORK IS KILLING ME. elearning srsly is the worst thing ever. plus had fever, cough, sore throat, and DIARRHEA. what the hell. totally no energy nor strength to do anything. half of the elearning lesson, i will be in the toilet. either that, i will be coughing my lungs out. gah. better get going and finish my amaths before ms lee kills me tmr. May 10, 2010
wanted to post about sikkim! but.. too bad im busy with elearning. and having fever and sore throat! ): wanna faster get well! and be myself again! yea man. hope to blog soon. and there's this person who reads my blog but dont tag, and is super mysterious. YOU KNOW IM TALKING ABT YOU!!!! (: April 2, 2010
wah very long nvr post. anyway. just to update. i am fine. actually quite stress-.- roar no time!!! and you can go to my tumblr. for more detailssss:D www.bombthe-apples.tumblr.com March 11, 2010
OKAY HI. i will make this short and sweet:D haha. today went for xcountry!!! HEEEHEEE. it was awesomeeee. oh wait ytd, went trng.. and the coach told us ghost story. LOL while we were doing physical. HAHA. damn scary. anyway, then train next year's formation. ah... tentative one lor. then... no more. oh then warm up was 1.2. LOL. when i ran out of the school, i saw huabing and gerald. so i was like pacing behind them... LOL UNTIL THE FOREST THERE, i managed to like catch up with them, then gerald heard this panting sound of mine, so he turned. and i think he was damn shocked. LOL. THEN HE RANNNNNN TO CATCH UP WITH HUABING. wah i wanted to laugh like mad, but i cant cos i dont wanna stop. heh. so yupp. 1.2 was less than 10 min. HAHA. cool or not... starting and ending point at sports hall! :D happy. today had xcountry!!! woots. it wasssssssss cool. haha. i was very excited la. then my mom woke me up at 530, as she said that you still need to change trains and wdv. oh well. so i reached je at 630. and i had to wait for lyanne loh for like 20 min. yes. HAHA. then we went chinese garden!!! saw charis and szeting, then waited with them for carissa. then went tgt!!! hohoho. HAHA. walked damn long. then saw simin also. ahhh. after a while, competitive race started. oh my. i managed to like run at constant speed for... the first 2km? i not very sure. wah but until the.. second bridge. omg. I NEARLY DIED. up slope sucks badly. hahah. AND UNTIL THE ROAD THERE. omfg. is MAD. clyde ran pass me. IS CRAZY YOU KNOW!!! LOL. he still can HEY! omg. LOL. a bit crazy. then jog a bit more. kevin overtook me also. heh. these ppl are mad. yes. LOL. THEN UNTIL THE.. MDM CHONG THAT PART. I THOUGHT REACHED ALR. COS I SEE CONESS!!!!!! so I CHIONGED PASS WEILI AND SARAH TEH WHO WERE IN FRONT OF ME. INT THE END, haven reached. OMG. i stopped and choked. and nearly vomitted. then they ran past me. T-T. what the hell. so i was like oh well. nvm. so i got 7th. if not what, 5th alr!!! LOL. damn gay la. zzz LOL. i damn dumb AHHA. anyway, this position was much better than last year's i got 16-18th position last year lehhh. now.. not bad:D ahha. but i think cos jinghui and jiahui was unwell. if not i think i 9th. AHAH. they are pro ppl. okay! then went jp with the awesome. HAHA. okay, charis, carissa, lyanne, huimin, sarah:D hoho. ate ljs. and there were a lot a lot of fairsians. then.... played with carissa's husband. er.. flirt with him. AHAHA. then... ya, took loads of pics man AHAHH. so fun!!! then we saw.. lincoln, kk and shawn lim. after that, went starbucks:D drank some stuffs. then sat there and chat. heh. then lincoln came find moi. then we sat tgt and then walked around jp. went this shop with M&Ms, 1 buck. so we decided to try since like. looks so fun. LOL IN THE END, there were only 20 M&Ms came out of that machine. LOL TIO SCAMMED.... AHHA damn funny. okay then went home:D hahaha. home sweet home! okay, btw my muscles aching like mad mad. REALLY DYING dunno how go school tmr. haha BYE BYE PPL. March 6, 2010
okay hi!!! i am finally posting AGAIN. yay. i think next time i post weekly. sigh. anyway, my results suck like mad this term. and i am determined to do well next term. i hope i will have the motivation yea.. sigh. today supposedly would get back our physics paper! but ms lim cant finish marking our class paper. so we were like... scared for nth. and her lessons are omg. I FEEL SUPER SLEEPY THEN. and i dunno why. i mean i want to pay attention! but just cant-.- shitttt. ah, and my emaths got 24/25. ROAR. all my answers correct!!! just that one of my workings is wrong. OMG SHIT ME. i got put equals to 0 to an expression. argh!!!! nvm... ah. and still got what. today went sci centre with bong and jias. :D FUN. AWESOME. body worlds rock. seriously AHAHAH. we had a lot of fun there, as well as sci centre. played LIKE MADDDD. heeeehee:D then went home after like spending hours in the sci centre. hmmm tmr no trng, but need go sch for the stupid chi proj thing! shit la. dunno until what time also. zzzzzz. hope can finish before 12. i want go home slp! heh. anyway, is mr lum's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!:D best cca cher ever. heh(: and i am in dilemma. monday having 2 competitions. i dunno which to go. nono, i am going both. but i am just worried about the transportation and the duration of the travelling time. AH. just scared i cant make to the compo competition in time. need discuss with coach.. yupp. i am very tired now. bye byebyebyebye. byebyebeyebye. i am damn excited to know my physics marks. yet i think i will feel damn sad abt it. ): byeeee. February 28, 2010
First thing, happy birthday simin! (: I typed this long post just now. And was so satisfied, just then, blogger shut down and return to my home page. Fml. Zzz so now I don't have the mood to type! So main point is, I HAVE SPENT MY WEEKENDS HAPPILY. not. Bye ppl. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone February 13, 2010
Suddenly, I feel so sad for the class. Is not that we can't be united, is just.. Some of us don't want to. And I don't understand why, I mean like, I know most of us are missing our sec2 friends, but come on la. Not like we can't move on and make new friends right. There's no harm doing that, is there? Not saying that you all should don't care your old friends, but at least, put in an effort to understand new classmates, and know them better. Arghhhh, hope 3e can get better. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone February 12, 2010
Thanks Cassandra for the card as well(: heeeheeeee - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone hello!!! hehe i am like 15 alr!! haha old already.. sigh. having backaches these few days. a signal to me huh! haha anyway. to all that wished me happy birthday, celebrated with me, and even gave me a surprise. THANK YOU KK. i know i was really dead today. like what sheree said, i guess i am too stunned/ too happy/ too tired to respond! haha. probably i am lagging. i am really sorry for that. tears have been rolling in my eyes since the morning. when carissa, sheree, lyanne, venessa and sarah showed me the video, i was very touched even though i haven watched finish. really a big thank you to you all.. :D went fusion with charis, sheree, venessa, lyanne, jocelyn, jia le and hui. hahah. ate!! and then went back sch for competition. vb team sang a birthday song for me. i was quite shocked, and dunno what to do!!! omg. so i just erm.. wave and smile smile. HAHA :X thennnn. played match. was off today. and sth happened. i wont say it here la. cos i dont really care also... ya.. so went to buy drinks, then supports bboys. after like... awhile, they said they need to goooo. so.. yep. i really thought we were going home. i swear. omg. they said they want go toilet, so yea followed. then theres this restaurant beside the sport hall.. so they were looking! THEN, they went in. omg. haha so thats where the surprise begins. :D simin presented me the gift. alright. I AM REALLY HAPPY OK. PPL. I APPRECIATE IT. AND I WILL DEFINITELY USE IT! :D thank you!!!! omg. haha. AHHH I AM JUST SPEECHLESS OK! THANK YOU PPL. after eating, went to jp. then walk walk walk. jermaine bought me this small piece of cake. is not small. is quite big. HAHAHA. thanks!!! (: a million. went home after a lonnnngggg day. :D ahhh. JUST A GREAT DAY OK. thanks grace ang, jermaine, simin, jinghui, jia le, jia hui, okky, jocelyn, yufan, yutong, charis, jeremy teo, sheree, isaac, yingmin, sheree's mom, esther, shawn lim, jinhan and vballers for wishing me a happy bday!:D thanks kns and sarah and venessa for the video surprise/ cards. :D thanks sec3 vballers for the treat to sushi! and the present! the cake! thanks vb team for the birthday song. BIG BIG BEAR HUG FOR EVERYONE! February 10, 2010
I thought it was rather disappointing that we didn't get into the finals. Sigh.. It's okay... Let's try again in the nats! I hope we really can do it man. We trained so much, and we spent so much time on this, we really cannot give up!!! Haisssss. Sorry, I probably played like shit for second and third set. I'm very very sorry. To be honest, I was very scared. Just that my face didn't turn pale. I thought we would be able to make a come back for the third set, but I guess our mentalities are not strong enough. Hmm. It's okay, let's learn from our mistakes and don't let them repeat again!! Friday vs queensway. I really hope can win man. It will probably be the best present. If not... Omg. A bad bd. ): Somehow, I finally feel the determination to win every match. Not like I didn't feel this way when Im playing reserved. Just that not as much.. Okay I'm sleeping soon. Gd night - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone February 6, 2010
Heyhey! Have been reeeeally busy this week): oh well, what can you expect. Is test week! Haha anyway, results are.. Average I guess. Can do better la. But. Before I can work even harder, I would have to put volleyball aside, which is quite hard... Cos after zonals are nats. Then after nats still have to train for 2011... Ahh. So.. I will just have to juggle between these two. And I hope I can do it. (: anyway.. I guess first term results suck ttm. I think I failed my physics. As well as bio. And my chem result isn't good either. ): my sciences are like weak... My maths.. Average. And my chi haven't test yet. But my gong Han pulled me down a lot already. Soooo. I can expect myself to be bottom in this class. Boo. Training today was alright. Tiring as usual. And we had friendly against acjc(: quite ok la. And night training was great heh. Not as fun, but still. Not bad! Monday vs cedar. Go bgirls!!!! Give in the best! And I think we can do it(: jiayou! Next week got chi test.. And also chi new year celebrations. Need to prepare all the peranakan stuffs! Roar. Busy week once again. Oh oh! And I really hate lht for catching my shoes. She sucks. Oh well. Fri had attire check, and the main check was on boys who tapered their pants. So... Checked class by class. Until my class I stood up and walked. And since my attire was SO perfect, I was like damn relax la. Then from the corner of my eye, I saw this woman running towards tcw and our class. And I turned. Lht was pointing to my shoes and said it was not proper shoes. Wtf. Firstly, she not even my form teacher la. Wth. Fucking busybody. Secondly, tcw didn't say anything. Too bad. Z. So angry after that yknow. Dunno how to teach still say so much. Fucker. Sorry, I'm just angry. January 31, 2010
HEY HEY HEY! long time no see. haha. have been really busy to on the com/lazy to post/dunno what to post. yea. anyway, mostly is busy la. training like 3 times a week, sat full day training. no time:( but now better. fri and sat trng only muahha:D okay. school has been. OKAY! haha 3e is really great:D fun. but really. TOO QUIET omfg. i rmb we went to physics lab that friday. AND NO ONE TALKED OMFG. is crazy. really damn crazy. is like having exam yknow. my gosh. then the stupid teacher keep talking and talking omg. she is really hypnotizing me or wdv! haha but still is quite fun. HAHA. kokkin is damn funny. we had physics lessons on dunno what day in the class. suddenly he just turned and asked weilun: are you listening? weilun nods his head. kokkin O: you can tahan?! SHE LIKE CHANTING EH. omg HAHA damn hell funny omg. she seriously DUNNO HOW TO TEACH. i am very worried for my physics!! anyway. HAHA. my beep test is level9:D hohoho. hmm... nothing much alr. i forgot a lot. so anyway. competition on thurs. hope we can win ok! :D go bgirls(: next mon vs cedar. jiayouuuzx. trying very hard. and i hope i can succeed. January 16, 2010
Fuck off. I think I came to the wrong school. |
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But baby, where they knock you down and out
Is where you oughta stay |
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